To the child who made me a mother –
You are so much bigger now than that magical night I first held you in my arms, crying in chorus with you because I didn’t know how to make you happy.
I hope I make you happy now, even just a little bit each day, because you have made me happier than I ever thought possible.
Whenever I am down, you lift me up as high as we could swing from the rope in our back yard. (Unless Dad pushes.) When I’m frustrated with the noise and the mess and the chaos, you bring me peace – straight from your kind and loving heart.
You help me be a better Mommy to your little brother and sister … but am I a good enough Mom to you?
I still remember when you called me “mama.” You all do, before you grow up and make friends and we mamas fade a little more into the background every day.
Even though you don’t need to hold my hand anymore, I hope I’m still your best friend. Because you’ll always be mine.
I don’t know what I did to deserve a kid like you. Up with the sun before the rest of us, I find you finishing your homework at the kitchen table, ready to greet another day with your sweet smile and a song you made up in your head.
You are my favorite song, the rhythm in my heart, the melody that gets me through.
Thank you for all the times you pull me out of the background and down onto the floor to laugh or dance or build or play. Thank you for noticing when I need you, just as much as you used to need me.
You’re so strong now and so wise – but your mama’s still here for you.
So tell me what happened at recess. Ask me questions about the world as you see it. Share your dreams for the future and walk into it with me – if not hand-in-hand, then heart-in-heart.
For as you told me many moons ago, not far away at all, you had something big to say, but in a voice so small –
“I love you to my heart.”